What are the legal rights that step-parents have, and why is it that they do not have the same rights as the biological parents? Many children grow up with more than just their biological parents. Whether the biological parents remarry, there is a same sex marriage and there is only one biological parent, or whatever the case may be, step-parents are very common in children’s lives, and contrary to some beliefs, not all step-parents are monsters. Just because someone is a biological parent, does not necessarily mean they are a true parent. Some step-parents have more involvement with the children, and know more about the children’s lives medically, and scholastically than the, “biological parent.” Parenting is not always blood, but the love you have for the child. Laws should be changed to reflect the newer times and the growth in the amount of parents.
My children have a step-father in their lives. Majority of the time the children live with us. My husband is more of a father to my kids than their biological father. He is there every day, for all doctor’s appointments, homework, and most meals. My kids biological father is in their lives, but wants to be the fun parent. He never does homework with them and even went as far as changing the visitation schedule to where the kids come my house ever day after school. He also puts them to bed when he feels like it, and never wants to be the disciplinarian.
There is a very interesting law that gives the step-parents a little say in what is happening. In Massachusetts, there was a new law passed in January of 2009. “General Laws, Chapter 201F, permitting a parent to authorize another person, with whom the minor child resides, to exercise joint responsibilities over the education and the health care of the child (Step-parent).” In this law, the biological parent has the right to give as little or as much rights to the authorized person. The main rights given are for school and/or healthcare. Under this law, the parent or guardian must in writing, fill out a “Caregiver authorization affidavit,” (Commonwealth). This is where they will specify, and pinpoint exactly what rights they are willing to give the step-parent. But, if the parent and the caregiver do not see eye to eye on a matter, the parent’s decision will ultimately trump the caregiver (Commonwealth).
Step-parents can also be defined as a “De Facto” parent (Gee). A de facto parent is person who is not a biological parent, but has been in the child’s life as a member of their family. The de facto parent lives with the child and, with the “consent and encouragement of the legal parent, performs a share of caretaking functions at least as great as the legal parent”,(Gee). The laws have changed a lot since 2000. “Laws vary state to state, but the rights often come down to a child’s relationships with the step-parent and the biological parents” (Bird). In my case, I think my current husband is more of a de facto parent. The children live with us well more than 50% of the time. He is as much a part of their lives as I am, and when I am not home he takes care of them just as I would.
There was a court case in 2015, the first one in Massachusetts that allowed a de facto parent shared custody. In this case, the de facto parent, was a parent from a same sex marriage. While only one parent was the biological parent, the other parent has no biological connection. She was part of the child’s life since the child was a baby. That does not make her any less of a parent. In most cases, the non-biological parent would adopt the child, but not always. In this case, the de facto parent did not adopt the children, but was still able to have joint custody.
What happens if a step-parent tries to get visitation rights? “Not all states honor the visitation laws”,(Atkinson 7). Massachusetts is not one of those states, but California, Tennessee, and Virginia to name a few do follow the rights. It is up to each individual court judgement, but in some of the hearings involved, the court observed, “some of the step-parents treated the children as the step-parent would treat their own child,” (Atkinson 7). In my house hold all the children get treated the same. My husband also has a child living with us. Although there is a big age difference between my kids and his, they all put in their share.
My husband has been in my children’s lives for over seven years. I understand not all people are like him, but he took on the role as a father again. The kids are not my kids, they are our kids. He is more invested in their well-being than their biological father. He helps in every aspect of their lives, cooking, cleaning, teaching, and reprimanding. He even helped me to set up a college funds for them. Their father has never put a dime into it and said they need to fend for themselves when it comes time for college. I wish my husband could adopt my kids and take over as their “true” father. But, with all the laws out there that protect the parents, unless their father is willing to give up his rights, there is nothing more than what the laws will allow.
Step-parents have a very limited legal role. A lot of laws have changed since the early 2000’s that give the step-parents a small amount of rights to back them up and that is determined from one of the biological parent. The biological parent can write an affidavit to give the step-parent rights to make school and limited medical decisions. But, what if something were to happen to me? What if the kids were afraid to go to court and tell the court they wanted to be in their step-father’s life? They would go straight to their biological father, who is not a bad man, he is just so wrapped up in his own life the kids would not be a priority. That is not fair to any of them. They need each other. There needs to be a more clear-cut law for the step-parents. If something happened to me, why couldn’t he take on the role as parent and fight for custody. The kids are more comfortable with us than they are with their father. I am sure not all blended families are like mine, but I am sure we are not the only family to feel this way. Why should we have to wait till something happens? It is not fair to the children to be a nasty court battle, and I don’t know any parents that would want that for their kids!
Work Cited Page
Atkinson, Jeff. “Shifts in the Law Regarding the Rights of Third Parties to Seek Visitation and Custody of Children.” Family Law Quarterly, vol. 47, no. 1, 2013, pp. 1–34., www.jstor.org/stable/23526342. Acc 1 Mar 2017
Bird, Beverly. “Legal Rights of a Step-Parents vs Real Parents.” LegalZoom, Acc 1 Mar 2017.
Commonwealth of Massachusetts, The General Court of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. Chapter 201F,[c. 2017] , MALegislature.gov
Gee, Brandon. “Massachusetts court grants defacto parent shared custody!! The first in Massachusetts.” Parker & Grady Law, 16 October 2015.
“Step-Parents Rights”, Family Law Practice. 25 August 2009.